What Are You Doing?

"Regrets, I have a few. But then again, too few to mention."

-From "My Way," Frank Sinatra, 1969

When my dad wanted to know if we were causing trouble as kids, he would say (in a very bold voice, I might add) "What are you doing?" He was a guy that didn't waste time and if we were out of line, we heard about it. Immediately. There was no doubt there was a problem. Dad was a great guy. He passed away in 1997, and I miss him every day. But decades later, "What are you doing?" takes on a whole new meaning for me.

What Are You Doing? How many years pass before we start thinking about what we are doing from day to day. For me, it's the simple stuff. I love to read and I need to read more. I need to watch less television. I need to spend less time noodling around on the internet (except for writing this blog!). What Are You Doing? Simply spending some time thinking about where you've been - and where you want to go - can be valuable. I try to have some kind of quiet time every day. It can be in the car with the radio off. I take the turnpike home, there is little traffic, so it allows me to have some quiet and think about things.

Time Flies.

It is truly amazing as I sit here in my almost mid-50's thinking about how much time has passed. And how much time I have wasted, just let slip by. There is a book, I can't remember the title (I'll hunt it down and add it later), that I came across in the bookstore recently. It was one of those "meaning of life" books, but without all of the new age puff. There was a question in the book, something along the line of 'What do you believe?' The book explained how much time passes in our lives without asking of ourselves, What Do You Believe? What an important question. I was a little stunned. I had no idea, really, what I truly, truly believed. Well, there are the basics: I believe in God; I believe that people are basically nice (I seem to be getting challenged on that one from time to time); I believe that the cup is half-full, etc. But what are the core beliefs, the things that make my "center." Now, that will take some thinking. It is something like politicians - their beliefs change with each poll that comes out. Their beliefs and their "core" changes with the breeze. Makes me miss Harry Truman. But the idea is to sort out the unbendable things about yourself; what you feel about life, faith, love, the should do/shouldn't do's. I think this is how we all get so anxious a lot of times. We don't know, really know, what we believe and who and what we are. And we get anxious to the point of medication about what we have lost. Time, friends, love, etc. 

There is a light at the end of this tunnel. Maybe it can be as simple as a checklist for ourselves. Just a little notebook of things we would like to do or change. For me, the big one is finishing my degree in History (when our finances get a little more leveled out around here). One of my professors told me that she hoped I would write or teach history. WRITE OR TEACH HISTORY. Astounding! What would those grade school teachers think of that! (See "Bump" blog). There is so much to do. 

As Darren LaCroix, a motivational speaker friend of mine said in one of his speeches, "Even when you fall on your face, you fall forward!"

Ah, that's it -- Forward.

Maybe I'll go back to the bookstore and find that book.

NOTE: The book in Time Flies is Choosing Happiness: Short Answers to the Big Questions, by Stephanie Dowrick.